Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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