I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
