He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
