spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
