You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I will pee on everything he values.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
