you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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