u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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