Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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