oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I think i got beer on your cat.
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