Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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