But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
