The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize