just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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