He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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