I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
