I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, beer. Big fan.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
