Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
