Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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