Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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