she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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