One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sorry my hands just texted you
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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