Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize