Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
babies were throwing up all over the place
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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