We're like a lot better than the average bears
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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