the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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