she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.