How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT