it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.