Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.