I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.