u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Less talking, more tequila
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
