I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
