420 ftw
I didn't shave. On purpose
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
