They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
