:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize