Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
