I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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