You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
