Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
