Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
