Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
