tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the day after is always just damage control
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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