No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
