you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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