everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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