wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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