First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
