The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
