Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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