he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
