dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
