her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
