Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
