R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
