How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We don't watch enough power rangers
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
