Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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