but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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