Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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