C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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