Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
