dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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