I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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