ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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