S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
