I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
