Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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