The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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