I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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