Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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